24.5.07

effed up day

i stayed in the shower extra long just so i could cry longer
with no interruptions
with no disturbance

just let the tears wash away in the running water
its pointless to slash wrists
i really don't want to

effed up day

i went to the docs
after weeks of uncontrollable pain
everytime i swallow saliva, something stabs my throat

turns out i have blisters in my throat
my mucus is thick, yellow

i shrunk by 2cm
thats why after every meal i take 3 sets of medicine

in between all that i have to put oral lotion.
so this is how bad it has become

thank you, mom, for helping me go through all this

but so much worse things happened
i don't even wanna say it here.

thank god its the last day of lessons

the world is black;
my thoughts are cold.

i don't wanna talk to anybody,
i don't wanna lose you